Tuesday, 30 July 2013

About Me

I guess you might be wondering who I am and I wasn't going to do an 'about me' until I found this piece that I wrote when I was in my fourth year of secondary school and decided that this was the one to post. Enjoy.

Who am I?

Is it possible that such a fundamental question could possibly be answered? Quite often simple questions (especially those about the self) have very long complicated answers, akin to offering a handful of pieces of a million part jigsaw puzzle; you end up giving more and more to give a clearer and better picture. Simply put, ‘I’ is far too broad a topic to ever be accurately defined, however, there are a couple of signposts along the way.

I could tell you how other people see me in the hope of answering this impossible question, unfortunately this would be undeniably pointless since an outward appearance is as about as informative as a beer mat advertising the beer in the glass. Anyone can put on a fa├žade, anyone can smile for a camera or laugh at a joke… anyone can put on a brave face and just because they are smiling doesn’t mean they are happy. So in this instance appearances tell us little. Like Mark Twain once said, ‘everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.’

I could tell you my aspirations, my fears, my likes and dislikes but still all these details are constantly changing and sometime contradicting themselves. They battle for dominance and despite being an important part of my life they all share one thing in common… they are not me, just aspects of me. I do believe however, that if this ‘self’ character can be defined then hopes and dreams must play a large part in the defining.

Speaking of beliefs; another thing we use to define ourselves (God knows why) maybe I am an immortal being, full of infinite possibilities. I would be part of something greater and complete with an undying soul, created by God. Maybe I am the product of some freak accident in nature, involving apes and thousands of years of evolution that has created a creature capable of dominating the world. Then I would be nothing more then a collection of atoms that have been assembled just right, a cocktail of chemicals and genes or a bag of bones. A body set to travel a predestined road or someone trying to create a new path. True, and yet it does not truly define who I am.

I could tell you about all my achievements to date, my material possessions and where I come from, what music I’m into but it wouldn’t answer the question. I could tell you everything on my birth certificate but you still wouldn’t know one iota about who I am. The name on my birth certificate was conceived by my parents, I had no say in the matter. When I was registered this name became a legal document which identifies me but actually it only identifies this person who was registered, it doesn’t actually identify me. I think there is a reason why ‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English language. It’s because there are infinite possibilities to add to it and there are so many things one person can be. I am a freethinker. I am the perfect example of imperfection and contented to be so. I am the end result of everything that has happened in my life; every tear, every mistake, every bruised knuckle, the happy times and the hard times. They all went in to creating me. I was forged from my experiences and shaped by the people in my life. I am a white canvas waiting for a brush stroke or a book waiting to be written. I am a pawn in a greater game with the chance of becoming the most powerful piece on the board if I can survive all other attacks and reach my goal. I am complex and ever changing and as Natasha Bedingfield once sung, ‘I am undefined’.

Some people spend their whole life searching for who they are; they travel to faraway lands in hopes of finding themselves. Some people go through their entire life without knowing who they are. Some people think they know but sooner then later find out that they don’t know. I would be surprised if anyone actually knew exactly who they were. One thing I can say with the utmost certainty is… I am me. That’s all I need to know because as long as I am me I will always be changing and no matter what other people say or do, it will never change that. In essence I could tell you everything about my life down to the finest detail and still… you would know little if anything about who I am.

So why ask? Just accept me for who I am, a child of the universe just passing through, just like you. Enjoy the ride.

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